Aurora Boring-alis
and the largest collection of phalluses in the world (Iceland Part 3)
Day 3 (Wednesday)
After two full days of adventure outside the city, it was finally time to explore Reykjavik with our friends. The wind remained pretty relentless, so we bundled up for our couple mile meander to the city center, fully prepared to be out for the entire day and well into the evening. We had some pretty epic plans, all of which were perfectly timed in accordance with one another.
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When’s Lunch?
The Chasins, who are far more travelled than me and Dave, brilliantly signed us up for a walking food tour to sample Icelandic cuisine. Our tour guide, Karitas, was absolutely delightful in sharing her experience as a native and walking us through historic places and restaurants, while simultaneously regaling us with historical tales and Icelandic myths. In case you want to plan your own food tour, here’s what we did:
The first restaurant we stopped at was Fjallkonan, named after the female incarnation/national personification of Iceland (which translates to Lady of the Mountain). The building that houses the restaurant used to be the Fálkahúsið (Falcon House), which is where local falcons were stored and trained for the Danish king during the 18th century. The walls were adorned with a green patterned carpet, and the ambiance on a slow Tuesday during lunch was surprisingly warm and inviting.
There, we sampled two Icelandic dishes (unclear how classic they were):
Slow Cooked lamb shoulder on a flatbread from the Westfjords with carrot puree and horseradish sauce.
Lightly cured arctic char on a blini with yuzu mayo and fish eggs.
Our second stop was at Messinn, where all of us tried some truly incredible (my mouth is watering just thinking about it) pan fried arctic char cooked in honey and butter, and served with buttery potatoes and thick, chewy rye bread. Some of us also tried Plokkfiskur (fish stew). I couldn’t bring myself to try the latter, which looked nothing like stew and more resembled the congealed innards of a chicken pot pie (but with mashed up fish instead of chicken and vegetables).
We were pretty full already by the third stop, which was Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur. They tout their singular offering as “The World’s Most Famous Hot Dog”, and the customary dish is a hot dog that is 80% lamb and 20% we-don’t-know-or-speak-of (according to Karitas) served with ketchup, sweet mustard, fried onion, raw onion, and remoulade. I’m not a big fan of hot dogs to begin with, and I have to agree with my friend Scott, who told me the week before my trip that it’s “just a hot dog”. My favorite part at this stop, though, was the hot dog holders on the tables surrounding the stand:
Stop four was at Íslenski Barinn, the only place in Iceland that is allowed to serve all beer made in Iceland. Quite like America’s Coke vs. Pepsi divide, Iceland drinking establishments are either team Viking or team Gull. Except for Íslenski Barinn, which serves both, along with the largest beer selection on the whole island. It’s a great one-stop-shop for all imbibe-able and edible Icelandic specialties. There we tried Kjötsúpa (traditional Icelandic meat soup—from what we could tell, it’s usually made with lamb) and fermented shark. To drink, we sampled Viking Gylltur beer and the non-alcoholic Icelandic beverage of choice, Appelsín (which is orange soda). The fermented shark is served as a cube that you pick out of a stinky jar with a toothpick. Stacey couldn’t bring herself to try the shark (she doesn’t like fish and was such a good sport trying all the other fish…this went too far), so she filmed us and happened to capture Mike’s little catch-and-release stunt:
Lastly, Karitas brought us to Cafe Loki, a cute little yellow building atop the tallest hill in Reykjavik by way of walking the rainbow road.
Cafe Loki is a family-run establishment with a cafe on the first floor and restaurant on the second. We gathered at a large table that took up the entire third floor, where we tried rye bread ice cream (a strange texture, but a flavor that grew on me) and had some coffee and tea to warm up. On the wall by the window was a signed photo of Tom Hiddleston at the restaurant.
Time to Dick Around (and other great puns)
After leaving Cafe Loki, we said goodbye to Karitas and ventured across the street into Hallgrímskirkja church, which sits at the highest elevation in Reykjavik and is filled with an organ comprised of over 5000 pipes.
While there, we questioned if there are any Jews in Iceland and a quick Google search yielded an unsurprising result: not really. We had had enough of the church (it’s pretty, and a nice reprieve from the wind) and decided to go from one organ to another: it was time to head over to the Icelandic Phallological Museum in downtown Reykjavik.
According to several relatively respected internet sources, this museum is the third most popular attraction in all of Reykjavik.
In 2011, an absurd man officially donated his own member to the cause, supposedly the first human specimen in the world to be donated to a museum.
This particular museum holds the world record for largest collection…
…but it’s honestly a pretty short exhibit. Here are some photos of exhibit items:
The jet lag started hitting us as we wrapped up our museum tour, so we took a quick break at the cafe in the lobby. We were still full from the food tour, so we merely admired the various cocktails and waffles available on the menu. Of note, the menu offered items with bacon but no sausage, an unfortunate omission if you ask me.
The Lava Show
Since our six-year belated honeymoon to Hawaii in 2022, Dave and I have been itching to see a real volcanic eruption and some piping hot lava. The former desire had the potential to be fulfilled on this trip, as there has been an impending and inevitable eruption slated any day now, but the latter was definitively fulfilled. In an industrial corner of Reykjavik, not far from the harbor, is an epic lava show where the ash/basaltic sand from a previous eruption (Katla in 1918) has been collected and repeatedly reheated to return it to its original state.
The lava is piped out onto a short ramp that leads to a small ash-filled stage at the center of a small theater, where a trained professional pokes and prods it with a rod that can withstand lava’s 1200+ C degree temperatures. She demonstrated how the lava’s surface cools quickly as it flows over a block of ice, creating bubbles of dark, ashy, obsidian-like glass, and she also showed us how insulating lava is, enabling the center of the flow to maintain incredibly hot temperatures for extended periods of time (sometimes decades).
I tried to pay attention to everything she taught us, but I was too mesmerized by the color and temperature of the room to commit it all memory. So instead of teaching you stuff I don’t really know much about, here are some photos and video:
Aurora Boring-alis
After the lava show, we had just enough time to squeeze in a quick dinner before hopping on a boat to supposedly1 get away from the city lights and see the Northern Lights. The day had been pretty cloudy, but we were hopeful they may part long enough for us to catch a glimpse of colorful sky. As the heading implies, though, the two hours we spent freezing on the top deck of the boat was for naught.
Tired, cold, and disappointed, we headed back to the hotel to pack up. Luckily, our itinerary would have us on the South Coast of the island for the next couple of nights, where the KP index indicated a strong likelihood of a beautiful show.
Day 1: Iceland: A Land of Fire and Ice
Day 2: Our Only Regret is Not Drinking More
We were floating in the middle of an harbor, surrounded by city lights for the duration of the boat tour
"From one organ to another." OMG dying