Welcome to Narrative Musings!

Do you know why you’re here? Do you know why I’m here?

You’re probably here because I asked you to subscribe to this…whatever this is. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, and by the time I do, I probably won’t remember to update this page.

But if you stumbled across this per somebody else’s recommendation — or because the algorithm gods were shining some binary light on me — welcome! I’ll introduce myself below, and you can do so here).

What Brought Us Here: A Narrative Musing

I fell in love with writing around the same time I fell in love with reading, likely before I could form long-term memories. I was that kid who was grounded from books, and who got in trouble for reading under my desk when I was supposed to be listening to some boring lecture in 6th grade about…

Actually, I’m not sure what the lecture was about, I was busy reading.

By 7th grade, I was writing full-length novels1, inspired by some of my favorite authors at the time: Harlan Coben2, Stephen King, James Patterson, Lawrence Block, and Tess Gerritsen. If you’re not familiar with these particular story-tellers, the common theme lies in the mystery genre. These authors and their works were foundational in me pursuing my first career in forensic psychology! And they also got me into a lot of trouble with my creative writing. Let’s just say: it wasn’t particularly age-appropriate.

My list of favorites has evolved over time3, as have my writing interests, but none of that is relevant here. What is relevant is this: Getting in trouble because of what I was writing didn’t stop me from writing; it only stopped me from sharing my writing.

Until now.

So what changed?

THE PEOPLE have spoken and I have listened.

Who are THE PEOPLE, you ask? They’re friends, colleagues, professors, mentors, journalists, authors, columnists, and more!

What did they say?

Dude. You need to be getting these stories to more than just me—the cow story, which is just incredible, and also…4

You are an excellent writer, the more of it I read. Really, and I'm not bullshitting you, here: You've got the thing, and if you did want to write something more than emails or college admissions essays5, far be it from anyone to tell you that you shouldn't, because you're a better writer than them (i.e. most people) anyway. Take it from someone who has had to read a lot of writing from people paid to do it: You have it.

I was serious that your article could be one chapter in a book about ‘what's wrong with colleges’.

I was...electrified...by your paragraph/"side tangent" about being calm in emergencies.6

Clearly you can write, in quality and quantity. I think my take on your writing (in emails and out) is that you should write the stuff you'd want to read and not worry too much if it's marketable.7

Apart from op-ed pieces, have you ever considered writing? Because just based on your emails, I would read pretty much anything you wrote!

Etc.

Apparently, I have a knack for writing compelling emails. And apparently, I have managed to surround myself with a community of incredibly engaging writers who have served as inspiration and encouragement to do this thing. So: thank you, all of you, you know who you are (and lemme know if you feel comfortable with me giving a more legitimate shout-out here, because you’ve all written some excellent books, articles, Substacks, and newsletters that these readers should probably know about).

A Brief Introduction

I’ve got a lot of stories to share, but I’ll keep it brief here and save the good stuff for future posts.

The Facts:

• My name is Jess, a nickname bestowed on me when there were four students named Jessica in my 6th grade class8.

• Some professional highlights that may turn out to be relevant context for forthcoming Narrative Musings:

  • Licensed Professional Counselor (Forensic Psychology)

  • Certified Educational Planner (College and Graduate School Counselor)

  • Entrepreneur (Co-Founder/CEO at Virtual College Counselors)

  • Business Coach (let’s talk about efficiencies!)

  • Operations Research and Systems Analyst (US Army TRADOC Analysis Center, Irregular Warfare Division, White Sands Missile Range, NM)

  • SMART Scholar (the Department of Defense actually named their scholarship program SMART, which is dumb; it stands for Science, Mathematics, and Research for Transformation9)

  • Research Faculty (University of Colorado Boulder Institute of Behavioral Science10)

  • Therapist for the Juvenile Firesetters Program at Children’s Hospital Colorado (Readers, this program has a waitlist a mile long of 5-13-year-old pyros referred by fire departments all over the western United States)

  • Research Fellow at the Kempe Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse and Neglect (helped develop Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy intervention techniques for parents and educators)

  • Therapist and Victim Advocate at AB Counseling (a substance abuse and domestic violence counseling center for court-mandated offenders)

  • Research Fellow at Persuasion Strategies with Holland and Hart (conducted mock trial research, and then I crunched numbers to inform our clients about what kind of jurors they’d want on the stand)

  • Chief Smoothie Strategist at Jamba Juice [you know that “secret menu”? Yeah, I helped develop those drinks. Spoiler alert: the key ingredient to the Butterfinger smoothie is carrot juice (you’re welcome!)]

• Some personal highlights:

  • A couple months before starting this, I took all that encouragement from above and got this op-ed about garbage higher education legislation and the impact on my students published in USA Today.

  • I’ve got a wonderful husband named Dave11 (who would prefer that I spend less time reading and writing and more time playing chess with him—but he was the 2nd Grade State Chess Champion of Florida, and I…was not).

  • I also have a very soft dog. Almost everyone who has ever met James comments on this quality. He’s very sweet, very lazy, and very loved.

    • Here’s a (pretty terrible, and pretty perfect) family photo from his Intermediate Training graduation. Have you ever seen or participated in the training programs at PetSmart? They hold a dog graduation ceremony on the last day. You can’t really tell from the photo, but James is wearing an argyle sweater vest along with his mortarboard12. What you also can’t tell from this photo is that, at the end of the ceremony, the PetSmart employee played Who Let the Dogs Out? on the loudspeaker throughout the entire store, which —somehow, in the most glorious fashion—prompted James to open the door to the training pen13 and LET ALL THE FUCKING DOGS OUT. Chaos ensued. Suspiciously, that particular PetSmart no longer offers training programs.

About the “Art”

Fun fact: There was a time in my life when friends commissioned drawings from me that they would then permanently tattoo on their bodies. This one was my favorite; inspiration derived from somewhere on the internet, no doubt14.

In addition to the general narrative musings, check out my newsletter: Subject to Change

Want to learn more? Read this.

Cool…now what?

I guess now you just…read what I write? Engage with me in the comments? Email me feedback, participate in polls, tell me I’m wrong about something, share this with your friends, share this with people you hate, share this with people who need help, just share this, praise me, ask me questions, introduce yourself, grab a snack, buckle up, and enjoy the ride!

Here’s what Substack recommends I say: Subscribe to get full access to the newsletter and publication archives. It’s good advice, so I’m leaving it here.

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